Please don’t say ‘Titty Birds’ – and other September concerns

August Bank Holiday weekend can only mean one thing – September is coming. A bit like Winter, only sooner, like in a week. I have to admit in the last few days the nerves are beginning to kick in here about September.

I’m going back to work for one. After 20 months at home I’m going to start a brand new job. I’ve been asked a lot about how I feel about going back to work and the truthful answer I keep giving is that I’m not really sure yet. I keep thinking I should be freaking out about starting a new job, as it’s just something that I would normally do. But I’m not, not yet anyway. Or not freaking out about the job. My concerns centre more on remembering when I am back at work, I will need to be awake and alert, on my game and reasonably smartly dressed. I won’t be able to respond to difficult situations but offering a biscuit to defuse them or counting to 3 in my cross voice if that hasn’t worked. My current level of crisis management/reward systems/bribery is just not going to cut it. Nor is wearing harem pants and flip flops and pretending not to notice the pen/tea/miscellaneous crust on my t-shirt. I am worried if I can do the job, No. Am I worried about remembering how to do the job, meeting new people, establishing my self again for the third time after having a baby in a new work environment, Yes.

But no time to dwell. Me going back to work means our littlest is off to a childminder. Someone, who although paid, is a friend of a friend, a previous teacher and who emits calm, loveliness and patience, is going to have to care for our baby even when she is in full blown meltdown. At 18 months I like to think she is just advanced with her level of tantrum antics, her throw down, back arching, ear piercing performances really could rival any 2 year old. Our child minder hasn’t seen one yet and I’ve had a word with our youngest about best behaviour until at least Christmas but she’s replied each time with a solid ‘Nah’ so I’m not left feeling very hopeful.

But we’ll just have to keep fingers crossed on that front because our number 2 child is starting school. The starting school bit makes me sad, 4 years on this earth and then off into a system doesn’t really feel good to me. However, he is excited, he is positive, he has been to nursery at the school, he knows half the class starting already. I’m not saying it will be a breeze for him, his status as a bit of a rascal at times is well earned, but he is feeling good and it’s making us feel good about this next step. However, he’s also picked up a few things over the holidays that I would prefer he does not head straight into school and impress his new classmates and teachers with. The ‘Titty Birds’ are a problem.

Our toddler (like her brothers before) is a Night Garden fan, so although me and my husband feel as though we have been watching it for nearly 10 years now, it’s still on at bedtime in our house. Our middle boy thinks its great that it’s back, again, he is a big fan of the ‘Titty Birds’ and their funny noises. We have explained they are Tittifers (although is this that much better really?) but he can only hear ‘Titty Birds’ and will repeat this often, to almost anyone. I can hear the class room conversation now – ‘I like to watch PJ Masks,’ ‘Oh, I like to watch the Titty Birds.’

Or

‘Now class, here is a picture of a black and white bird with a long yellow bill, does anyone know what it’s called…’

My money is on week 3 before we get a call from the school because they think he is watching something inappropriate. Or because he has used the word ‘bloody’ and not because he has been discussing an important historical battle.

I have to hold my hands up to this one, as I know he’s got in from me and he’s only done it twice (so far). I have told him it’s a bad word and he shouldn’t say it – although he is spot on with the context in which to use it. I have also used the well known parenting technique of threatening a TV/toy ban if I hear it again. He has assured me if he hears it again I will be banned from watching ‘grown up TV.’ I have accepted his challenge. Good luck school.

And in the mix of all the newness and change is our biggest boy who our worries for go a bit deeper than implying we watch questionable TV or have lost total control of our toddler already. Because when it’s all change and new, when it’s all about the littler ones who’s needs are more immediately demanding, big kids can get lost. And I worry he feels that sometimes. We try to be sure to give all our kids some time and space with us that they don’t have to share but it’s not easy and he can be last in the queue. He is anxious about returning to school but he can’t express why. A new teacher? Another year? Work getting harder? Me going back to work? He’s not sure. He’s looking forward to seeing his friends but the rest can wait. Sadly for him, September is coming…

It will all work out I’m sure, there isn’t really another option but I was thinking, if there was something, anything that might take the edge off the next few weeks to come… Mother nature if you happen to be reading this, please make September warm and sunny and bright. Make it a bit easier for us to start getting up and out of bed on time, feel good and warm as we step out of the house. Sunshine does wonders for patience when you are dealing with a tantrum (or preventing them as the little people are so busy running about outside), for making children nice and noisy in the playground so teachers can’t hear them say ‘Titty Bird’, or making sure play time is outside with your friends running about and having fun. I’ll take any help I can get right now.

Wishing you all a happy (sunny) September…

One thought on “Please don’t say ‘Titty Birds’ – and other September concerns

  1. As always Hannah, i want more, the fact that i’m not in the least bit interested in children, i still want to read more, tells me you are a brilliant writer!
    Can’t wait to read the novel!!
    Jan x

    Liked by 1 person

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